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"Dude, who do you think you are to be callin' me a scrawny, underfed, unkempt, and displaced alpaca!  My folk were the largest and most populous critters of notice living in North America long before you gibbering apes descended from the trees.  You'd be looking a mite crapulous if you spent the worst Texas winter in the past thirty years living outdoors."   



North of San Antonio


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12 minutes ago, Bird Brain said:

Have you ever had a mallard on your house?


No, but I've had a Wild Turkey!



Wild Turkey aint nuthin to speak of for an eye opener.  Ya need ta take a hard swallow of mescal or tequila with a chaser of sangrita before you tackle that leaky roof!  

Hornitos Still Life


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